Today has been all about Britney Spears and Courtney Love. This morning, I read an old-ish article in US Weekly about Britney's recent slim-down (that just brushed over the question of whether a woman who's just had a cesarian should really be running for an hour a day and lifting weights, willy-nilly, but that's another issue). And then--what!?--I hear that Britney has filed for a divorce from K-Fed. (sigh) Oh, Britney . . .
Later, I read a good, recent article by Ariel Levy (she's her own issue as well) in New York magazine about Courtney Love and her just-published kind-of-diaries. Levy comes very close to describing my own as yet unarticulated feelings about the appeal of early Courtney Love--when her antics seemed more like audacious fuck-you's than tragic I'm-fucked-up's--and the strange, persistent desire to redeem her still. But why do we hold out this hope for Courtney? Oh, right--because she rocks! Yet the tragedy and annoyance of her public persona so often overshadow her musical talents. Oh, Courtney!
More specifically, Levy identifies the intense narcissism and lack of self-esteem that seems to control Love's life and seemingly compels her to do cringe-inducing things--like publish chaotic and overwrought scraps of adolescent writing--as The Real Problem with Courtney. I have to say that I agree. (And, I might add, this is also the problem that accounts for her seeming compulsion to undergo a succession of ever-creepier cosmetic surgeries). So there I was thinking about Courtney Love, and then--bam!--she's on Leno.
So Britney and Courtney were both in my thoughts and then both in the news(ish). And, even though Britney and Courtney are very different, I found myself uttering the same kind of "Oh, why?!" at each of them. Now, I'm not trying to say that Britney shouldn't get divorced (what was she doing with that guy, anyway?). No, my why's for Britney go way back: why get married? why have two kids in two years? why go on Dateline with that wad of gum in your mouth? I just want to like Britney and be entertained by her. I don't want to worry about her. So why, oh, why is she acting like this?
And the same goes for Courtney. The why's began before her appearance on Leno: why get a nose job? why keep doing drugs? why this desire for acceptance from everyone about everything? But today I had to ask "Why?!?!" again. Why wear that outfit? Why publish the book? (Though I totally want to read it.) Why can't she just focus on the music? 'Cause then I wouldn't have to worry.
But here's another why: Why do I feel this worry for celebrities who I don't even know? Maybe it's not really worry. I think part of the problem is just my discomfort with seeing people makes fools of themselves and/or so obviously display a vulnerability for the world to see and scrutinize. But there's also a weird gendered part to it. I don't want Britney and Courtney to look like idiots or crazies. I want Britney and Courtney to represent! For the ladies! I know, it's weird. And, actually, I don't expect that much from Britney. I can just say, "Oh, well, Britney." But Courtney. I still can't give up on Courtney. Come back to us Courtney! Do it for grunge! Do it for the '90s! Do it for the grrrls! Oh, Courtney!
